The Darkness and the Light
by CoffeeQueen
Summary: Drabbles about Ben and Rey's Force-Bond meetings after The Last Jedi.
1. One

**The Darkness and the Light**

 **One**

He felt a shift in the force as the blade slipped under his jaw and down his neck, the razor's edge nicking the pale flesh there as his body tensed. A bead of bright ruby blood bloomed until it trickled down the length of his neck. His dark eyes locked on hers, which were startled at the sudden sight of Ben Solo.

"You rejected me." / "You're bleeding," they said simultaneously, dark and light eyes searching one another intently, as if there were some hidden answers beneath the surface.

He could feel the warm trail of blood rolling down his neck and seeping into the onyx uniform he wore, but he didn't care. Only the concern in her eyes moved him to grab the towel and swipe at the wound, white lather and crimson blood swirling and mixing until there was only a faint reminder of what had been. The wound stung as he tossed the towel blindly at the floor, and he drew strength from the pain it caused, as he had done his entire life.

"You abandoned me," he said again flatly, turning away from the mirror and dressing table and taking a long stride toward her.

"Ben, I-"

"Don't call me that," he whispered darkly. "Ben Solo is dead along with Han Solo and Luke Skywalker."

Tears filled the girl's eyes, and for a moment, Kylo Ren felt a catch in his chest, a throbbing ache for his father and uncle, for the Jedi girl with trembling lips before him.

"There's still conflict in you, I can feel it so strongly. Ben, it's not too late, there's still a chance," Rey took a step closer to him, her hands hovering over his. "You don't have to choose this path."

"And which path would you have me choose? The way of those who abandoned me, who tried to kill me?" His jaw tensed, and he found his bare fingers drifting closer to the girl's.

Rey remained silent, her eyes searching for something she was unsure she would find.

"We had a chance to start over," he murmured, his eyes rocketing back and forth from her face to their hands, inches apart. "You chose wrongly."

"So did you," she said steadily, squaring her shoulders.

"What a bold thing you are," his lips twitched, air from his lungs spilling onto her neck.

She blinked for a moment, resolution hardening in her eyes, before taking hold of his hand and catching his holstered lightsaber up in their combined grasp. They both shuddered as the force coursed through and around them. Light, dark, peace, and chaos warred, fighting for purchase as she held onto his hand.

"Do it, if it's what you want," her voice trembled. "Kill the last Jedi and be done."

His eyes widened, jaw clenching roughly as her lithe fingers pressed against his. Her fingers rolled dangerously close to the trigger, and there was no hesitation. He flung the weapon from their grasp, pushing her out of the way so suddenly that she nearly lost her balance.

"Are you insane?" he rattled, his hands shook almost imperceptibly.

"I knew it," she breathed softly, her hands clutching at her heart, as if to slow it's violent beating. "You don't want to kill me any more than I want to kill you."

Kylo Ren turned from her sharply, his long pale fingers snaking through his jet hair, light and dark, ruffling it beyond repair. His voice was slight as he spoke with his back toward her. "What is your point?"

"That we don't make very good enemies, Ben." She took a step closer, watching the way his shoulders rose and fell with every breath. "We don't have to be. This is not our path. We saw it."

"You will stand with me," he whispered, his arms clasping behind his back.

"And you will stand with me," Rey echoed solemnly.

They were silent for a while, at an impasse, neither able to succumb to the other's desires, both unsure how they would ever be able to.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, reverently. "I shouldn't have abandoned you. I was wrong. _They_ were wrong."

His shoulders stilled as his breathing halted, her confession cutting him anew, laying the master of the Knights of Ren bare and raw. He felt it again, the conflict, the pull to the light. His eyes slipped closed of their own volition as he focused on simply breathing again, his back angled toward her so that she could not see his face.

"You're not alone, Ben. Neither of us are, not truly." Her fingers reached out to him, hovering just out of reach before letting them fall to her side. "Try to remember that."

Sensing her close, he turned to face her, but in the next moment, she was gone. Ben Solo stumbled backward, his bare hands catching on the cold metal dressing table, holding himself steady. His heart raced in his chest, like a bird beating wildly to be unleashed from a cage.

Rey had spoken of choices, of light, but in her wake he saw only darkness, its waves crashing over him in a tumult. And the darkness consumed him in the absence of the light.


	2. Two

**The Darkness and the Light**

 **Two**

Bright sunlight streamed through trees, dappling the warm ground beneath her feet. The alliance had made their temporary base in a small town on the outer rim of the galaxy, and Rey slipped away whenever she could, revelling in the quiet, lush verdant forests. She walked along a lazy babbling brook, her boots discarded in the heat, dipping a foot into the clear cool waters.

The air suddenly shivered around her, as she felt the disturbance in the force, as gentle as the passing breeze that made the evergreens sway. Straightening, her eyes rose slowly, trailing up the straight lines and hard edges of obsidian cloth. Her gaze rested on his somber expression, which quirked into what could have passed for the ghost of a smirk.

"From where I stand, you're severely underdressed," he mused, eyes observing her bare dripping feet.

Her brow knitted together in confusion until she saw the faint flecks of snow peppering the dark waves of his hair. As she looked closer, she saw that his cheeks were ruddy, as if he were standing in a frigid climate. For a moment, she was reminded of Starkiller Base, the only heat coming from their sabers sizzling in the snow, her own ripping through his flesh. The scar stared at her now, a reminder of what she had done. She vaguely wondered when their sabers would clash again.

She stooped to pull on her boots, stopping suddenly when she heard, "Don't."

Her head lifted, eyes regarding his questioningly.

"You seem...warm," he specified, his voice straining, as if the idea of being warm was gratifying and yet impossibly out of reach.

Her fingers stilled, leaving her boots beside the rolling waters, untouched. Taking a step back, Rey made the small jump across the brook to the other side of the bank. Ben reached out, as if to steady her, but quickly let his gloved hand fall to his side. His fingers flexed as if trying to rid himself of the impulse.

"You seem cold," she remarked, stepping closer to him. She could nearly feel the icy gust that caused him to shudder.

Her eyes flickered to his hair, trained on the bits of snow and ice that were collecting there like stars on a moonless night. Her fingers ached to know the cold, at least for a moment on this sweltering day. They slipped upward, his brow furrowing concernedly as he followed their path. Her fingers touched the snow gently, shivering as more swirled around them from an unseen sky. It melted at her touch, thawing effortlessly at the warmth of her fingertips.

At this distance, she could hear the small hitch in his breath, and when she pulled back, she saw that his eyes were watching her with wonderous intent. Nearly imperceptible breath trailed from his mouth as their eyes met.

Clearing her throat, her lips quirked into a half smile. "I'd never seen snow before Starkiller Base. The cold was foreign to me. It's strange...I somehow miss it, even though I scarcely knew it."

The duplicity of her words were not lost on him, but the hope building in his chest was too weighty and he stamped it down with force of his own.

"I know better than to ask where you are."

"I know better than to tell you," she smiled sadly.

"We'll find each other soon enough," he said with a grim finality cloaking his eyes.

"Ben-," she began yet again, her eyes a swirl of light, determination, and everlasting hope.

"I know," he said quietly. "I know what you're going to say, and you know what I'm going to reply."

He saw the hurt in her eyes and bit down sharply on his bottom lip as if causing his own pain could relieve hers. He knew what would, but he didn't yet know if he had the courage or strength to act. His dark eyes trained on the sunlight which danced along her exposed shoulder and he was so focused on the light, the enviable heat, that he didn't see her other hand lifting toward him until he felt the warmth against his cheek.

His eyes snapped to hers, full of confusion and gratitude, as her palm rested against his icy skin. Rey inhaled quickly at the chill, but allowed her hand to linger. Her thumb nearly grazed the spot where his lips parted, but she kept it in place, her eyes flickering from the corner of his mouth to his eyes.

"You always have a place in the light," she murmured, their gaze so connected as the force flowed warmly between them. "Fight with us. Fight by my side, Ben."

He said nothing as she pulled away, the void created by the absence of her warmth palpable and jolting. His breathing quickened as she stepped back, preparing to move away again.

"Rey," his voice sounded, taught and thin, before he could stop himself. "Don't give up on me yet."

"I won't. I can't," she said, tears brimming in her eyes.

He faded away then, something reflecting in his eyes that she hadn't seen before. Her fingers trembled from the cold that still clung to her skin, the warmth of the sun slowly seeping back in. She vaguely wondered how long they could maintain this game, each of them playing both sides, lying in wait for the other to surrender, to plead fealty to the most just cause.

She didn't know how long they could keep this up, and the thought of the seemingly inevitable outcome chilled her bones more deeply than any winter wind could.


End file.
